


Can I have my Heart?

by AroundTheWorldIn365



Category: VIXX
Genre: Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 19:21:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14027037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AroundTheWorldIn365/pseuds/AroundTheWorldIn365
Summary: “You’re right, you can’t replace him, his name is tattooed on my heart, but yours is on my hand and as long as your hand is in mine, I think I will be okay.” Wonshik smiles at this thought as he lets sleep fall over him.





	Can I have my Heart?

“I think I’m losing control  
I’m about to give up.  
What is this burdensome feeling on my chest?  
What is this dark cloud in my brain?  
What is this hole in my stomach?  
I think I’ve lost it,  
I’ve lost all feelings  
I’ve lost the feeling of love.  
I’ve lost my heart.  
Can I have my heart?”

It was a strange realisation for Wonshik to make at some stupid hour in the morning, yet again he hadn’t slept. But then again it wasn’t his fault that the thoughts swirling and knotting themselves up in his head hadn’t laid to rest just yet. It was all Taekwoon’s fault. If he hadn’t gotten himself killed out on a hunt; the pack hadn’t dared say anything to the heart broken Wonshik. They knew he wasn’t eating, knew he wasn’t sleeping; but they simply let him be. After all losing a mate was the worst thing to happen to wolves. 

Wonshik and Taekwoon were close before they found they were mates, they simply got closer. Many didn’t understand how Wonshik managed to tolerate the other so much, he was so quiet and cold yet Wonshik was warm and loud. Even so the pair worked. No one was able to calm Taekwoon when he was angry, like Wonshik could; a few murmurings of sweet soothing words and a warm embrace was all it took for the other to calm. So to see one without the other was heartbreaking. The pack weren’t sure how long Wonshik would last if he kept going the way he was. But if Wonshik was honest he didn’t want to last, not without Taekwoon, he didn’t want to live another day without him by his side. His heart screamed for him, as his lungs filled with unbreathable air, that burned him from the inside.

Wonshik took himself away from the pack, for a night. He went to the cave by the river that sang in the moonlight- it was Taekwoon’s favourite place to go. Closing his eyes, Wonshik fell into the river, he let the images flash beneath his eyelids. Memories of the day Taekwoon was brought back to him, barely breathing but with enough life left in him to say he love him, to say he loved Wonshik. Wonshik remembered the scream that tore through at the realisation that he had lost his mate, the person that was supposed to be by his side until they died. Slowly he stood in the river, letting the water flow round him, washing away everything that had happened, they were sweet memories and he refused to remember Taekwoon as the bloodied mess that had died in his arms. He wanted to remember him as the beautiful man that stood at the altar, in a suit, that kissed the breath from Wonshik’s lungs, that held him in his hands like he was a delicate flower. That was how Wonshik wanted to know him. It took everything in him that night to take himself back to the pack, he was welcomed with sad faces and one new one that he didn’t immediately recognise. Wonshik wanted to live, he wanted to create the life that Taekwoon wished they would have together, even if he wasn’t included in that. 

Over time Wonshik learnt that the new face was Jaehwan, he was older than Wonshik but had lost his family and ended up at the pack. Slowly, Wonshik began allowing himself to feel again, Jaehwan helped. They helped each other to heal and come to terms with their losses. Wonshik had even showed him the cave by the river, they spent many a night there, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, and sometimes in easy silence. But no matter what they were both there. Jaehwan made Wonshik laugh again, made him smile. The pack was thankful for this change.

Jaehwan would never be Taekwoon but Wonshik was okay with that. If Taekwoon wanted him to live then he would, he would live with Taekwoon tattooed on his heart, but Jaehwan’s hand held tightly in his own.  
“Promise me you won’t leave me.” Wonshik mumbles on a cold night, when he has Jaehwan cuddled into his chest, it was late and he wasn’t entirely sure that the other was even awake. Once the quiet settled amongst the cave, Jaehwan broke it.  
“Of course I won’t leave. I know I am not going to be able to replace Taekwoon, I wouldn’t want to. But I will be here as your companion.” He murmurs in the darkness allowing the silence to settle like a blanket over them as he pressed a small kiss to the center of Wonshik’s chest.  
“You’re right, you can’t replace him, his name is tattooed on my heart, but yours is on my hand and as long as your hand is in mine, I think I will be okay.” Wonshik smiles at this thought as he lets sleep fall over him. Dreams of Taekwoon and him running through the forest like they used to but then every so often Jaehwan was with them. The last thing he remembered was Taekwoon’s voice saying ‘be happy, I love you my loud little wolf, I will see you again’. 

Wonshik had his heart back, it wasn’t whole, but it was enough to keep him tied to the earth and that was okay. He was learning how to breath and how to feel, and that was okay as well.


End file.
